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Alternative “Civilization V” Quit Messages

by Niteowl
Games and Gaming

Every Civilization game ever released is notorious for the “One More Turn Syndrome”. A wretched disease that has lead to a 4% dip in Computer Science degrees conferred as well as a 10% increase in Google searches for “video game + addiction” and “shut-in life expectancy”.

So it was with some surprise that, when I tried to quit Civ 5, it actually asked me if I was sure. Yes I’M BLOODY WELL SURE, it was hard enough getting to this screen WHY ARE YOU MAKING IT HARDER ON ME?

Without further ado.

  • It looks like you’ve contracted scurvy from lack of personal attention and would like to quit riiight before getting your third Wonder, are you sure?
  • Who are you kidding. She’s gone for good, and your pike men aren’t going to siege Babylon themselves, are they?
  • Toxoplasmosis! My! What a big word! I bet you couldn’t get a Cultural Victory on Prince level….
  • Your husband’s needs are the needs of just ONE person. Whereas the needs of Thebes, Cairo, and Alexandria is that of millions. Are you sure you want to quit?
  • How could you possibly remember all the things you’re planning to do the next turn and the turn after that and that theoretical turn when China declares war on you? Honestly. Quit?
  • I have it on good authority that America will get the Coliseum if you quit. Are you sure you want to give away that advantage? I mean quit?
  • Far be it from me to call you a coward. But you have the strongest military and your cities are producing the most hammers of any other civilization out there. How long do you think that can last. But. Fine. Retreat. I mean quit. Same difference.
  • I think it’s about time your pets learn to feed themselves. And honestly, a chinchilla? Aren’t they from the desert? Not exactly a fount of abundance, yes? I’ll let you quit next time… ok?
  • How could you have bedsores? You’re not even in a bed! A mighty ruler like you who has just gotten into the Industrial has no time for medical quackery! Are you sure you want to quit because of  this imagined bit of hypochondria?

Niteowl

has written 12 FGEC articles.

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2 thoughts on “Alternative “Civilization V” Quit Messages

  1. I can’t count the number of time’s I’ve stayed up too late waiting for some arbitrary historical event, or how many times I’ve moved those goalposts to squeeze in 3 or 4 more turns.

  2. Mayhembob says:

    Haha, those are great. I have definitely suffered from the one more turn syndrome.

    Civ Alpha Centauri actually has a computer-ish voice that says something along the lines of “Don’t leave. The drones need you”

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